The Diary of Hamlet: To Be or Not To Be

Day 1

                Dad’s funeral just happened and then my mother married Claudius today. Can you believe that they even used the leftovers! How messed up is that?! The whole kingdom is rejoicing when they should still be mourning my father. Not only that but Claudius keeps calling me son when they couldn’t be less true, “a little more than kin and less than kind” would be more accurate. He may be my blood, and may have married my mom, but he will never be my father! I was walking around the castle today and I saw two of the men practicing their duel fighting, Laertes was there. I thought it might be good if I practiced too so that I’ll be ready to kill Claudius, but really who needs strength when they have brains? Maybe that’s what I should be using instead. Gotta think up a plan.  Write more later. 

Day 2

“To be or not to be—that is the question”. Do I really want to become a murder? But, how can I not when it means avenging my father’s murder? What if the ghost isn’t really my father? Maybe he is just telling me that Claudius killed him because he is really a demon sent to cause me to sin in murdering Claudius. I must find out the truth.

Day 3

                Trying to decide whether or not I want to kill Claudius is not as simple as I thought. I mean where do I draw the line? I mean I can’t kill Claudius while he’s praying, let alone in a church that’s unholy, by Protestant AND Catholic standards. Plus, I really want him to suffer for killing my father and I don’t want to kill him if he has a chance of going to hell. Not to mention that I kind of want to mess with Claudius first, I want him to know that I know. I’ve come up with a great plan and got the actors to do a play which depicts how my father died, “The plays the thing/Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the King”.

Day 4

I really think that I’ve pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes. They all think that I’m crazy, but once they realize who Claudius really is, they’ll see who the monster really is. I do kind of feel bad about telling Ophelia that I don’t love her, and never did in my newest letter to her. But I had sent her a poem before telling her “Doubt thou the stars are fire/ Doubt that the sun doth move/ Doubt truth to be a liar/ But never doubt I love”.  Surely she’ll remember that, and understand that I don't really mean I never loved her. She knows how much I love her, this is only for a time, then we can truly be together.

Day 5

                If only my father were here to give me advice. Although I guess he kind of already has, he wants me to “revenge his most foul murder”. I’m just not sure. I mean maybe I should just kill Claudius and be done with it. But then again…

Day 6

                How can the whole kingdom be blind to the truth about Claudius, “one may smile and smile and be a villain”. I told my mother the truth today and she didn’t believe me! She thought that I was mad! Although I did feel I little crazy when I thought I had finally killed Claudius, it turned out to just be Polonius (Ophelia is going to kill me), but I can’t believe she didn’t see my father’s ghost! Although maybe he just appeared to me, but wouldn’t he want my mother to see him, so that she knew I was telling the truth? O, I don’t know, maybe when I kill Claudius she’ll finally see the truth.

Editors note: Upon finding the diary, it was discovered that all quotes come from Shakespeare's play Hamlet. Hamlet did not complete his diary because he ended up dying from the poison that killed both his mother and Claudius. With his final breathes Hamlet made Horatio promise to tell his story, and make sure that Fortinbras would become King of Denmark.